I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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