do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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