You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
