Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
