Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
