the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
