when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
