Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just tell him i said nine months
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
