You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
