We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
