I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
