talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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