He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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