Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
