accomplished twins. life is a go
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
