Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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