ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i barfeds in our rink
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
