$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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