and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
