Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
