Where is the hickey?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
