Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
