guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
