That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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