She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
