Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
