Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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