the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
