everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
