i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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