My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
