I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
