yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
