"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
