Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
