and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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