Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
