I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
