I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
