i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
