Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
