In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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