The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
