of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
