they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
