I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
