btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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