Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
