theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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