She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
