oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A+ Viking dick
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