haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
