My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
